It's taken months to finally get the courage to write in here again. I deleted my first blog and left it alone. But I think I'm ready to try again. I can't count how many blogs I've had so far in my life. Which is why I was surprised by myself when I couldn't get myself to write.
I've been feeling uninspired and even when I was, I wasn't motivated enough to do anything about it. I want change (when do I not want change?!) right now and nothing is coming my way. I just have to keep telling myself that SOMETHING will come along. But in the meantime, it's up to me to create my own happiness.
This past summer has not been a good one. I lost my best friend and a few of other friends for various reasons. That usually doesn't bother me but for some reason it has really hurt me this time. I am learning how to be dependent on myself, not someone else...because those people will always let you down.
Well enough with the sad shit. No one wants to hear about that.
My goals right now:
1) Go apple picking at least twice this fall. I love apples. I love picking them. I mostly love picking them with friends. I have a few of those left ;) and I plan on doing many fall things with them.
2) Speaking of fall things... Pumpkin carving party. The last time we did this was the best thing of my life. I would be a professional pumpkin carver.
3) Get a job. I have applied to several places and I am waiting. I would be happiest to get a call from Best Friends so I can play with dogs. Please keep your fingers crossed and think happy thoughts about puppies.
4) Go back to school in the spring. I think this is the scariest thing I will ever do. At least it feels really scary. I've had several people offer their help so I know I'm not alone. But I still feel like I am. I decided to go for a dream I've had since I was little and try to become a nurse or something like it. I am afraid I'm not smart enough. Or I won't have enough money. Or I won't have the support. Or I just won't be able to handle it. But I need to try...cause I'll never know if I don't.....right?
But then again, I talk a lot and never go through with it.
I've been stuck in the same place for over a year.
I love this layout but the font is so fucking small.
Hmm I fixed it cause I am a genius.
I so was like the font is soooo small...lol but the writing perfect. It is great to express through words on paper..or cyber paper. It has helped me 1000%....xoxoxo keep writing I will keep reading..ur biggest fan...Stephie Says...lol xoxo
ReplyDeleteI want to partake of #1 with you. I never know when the best time for apple picking is so I miss out!
ReplyDelete#2 is good too! If you want we (Amanda myself etc.) good do it. I think we were planning on going to Amanda's to do it this year. But I am not sure. We could pick a weekend and go up early and go out to dinner and then carve pumpkins or something, or I am sure she would let us stay over if we had to.
- Rob
1) If you visit in the fall....fall is beautiful here!
ReplyDelete4) It's never too let to get un-stuck. You are definitely smart enough, it's getting the motivation and (maybe even harder, but still possible) the resources. You are not alone :)