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I did my own laundry today which is awesome cause I'm 19 and I still wont do it so I end up with nothing to wear. Is it my fault that my basement is straight out of a horror movie? There are little closet like areas with wood doors and padlocks. I'm positive there is some mutant child living down there. Oh and my downstairs neighbor is absofuckinglutely a serial killer. I called it the first week we moved in. His roommate "moved" out. I know the truth. He killed him for talking down to his dog. And now his body is buried in my backyard. Also there are ten million different species of spiders in the basement. TEN MILLION. And the ceiling is so close to my head. No thanks. I'd rather wear dirty clothes.
I bought this thing last night with charcoal and pencils and shit. But now I don't know what to even attempt to draw. I traced my hand and made a heart.
Last night I met up with Jen because she's been all sickly and I've been all lazy and we went a few weeks with like no contact. We did fall/Halloween things. We made bracelets. We talked about Halloween plans. I am most likely going to go to her house and experience Halloween in Salem for the first time. I've always been kind of terrified. It's already crawling with tourists. I hate/love that.
I don't have to babysit tonight and Rocky is tonight.
I think I'm probably allergic to life because I was just sitting here and I started itching all over. My hands and neck and chest. And now I have redness and oh my.
I should probably start taking allergy medicine again if I'm going to be working with dogs.
I feel like sleeping all day. Or just doing nothing.
It's cold outside and I have to do laundry. No one is around anymore. I have nothing to do. So why not?
Soon I should clean my room. It's been like a year now since we moved in and my mess is going to eat me while I sleep. I am a pretty disgusting person. Shh don't tell.
I bet I could find my contacts (again) and my sketch book among other missing objects if I cleaned it. That would make me happy.
It's taken months to finally get the courage to write in here again. I deleted my first blog and left it alone. But I think I'm ready to try again. I can't count how many blogs I've had so far in my life. Which is why I was surprised by myself when I couldn't get myself to write.
I've been feeling uninspired and even when I was, I wasn't motivated enough to do anything about it. I want change (when do I not want change?!) right now and nothing is coming my way. I just have to keep telling myself that SOMETHING will come along. But in the meantime, it's up to me to create my own happiness.
This past summer has not been a good one. I lost my best friend and a few of other friends for various reasons. That usually doesn't bother me but for some reason it has really hurt me this time. I am learning how to be dependent on myself, not someone else...because those people will always let you down.
Well enough with the sad shit. No one wants to hear about that.
My goals right now:
1) Go apple picking at least twice this fall. I love apples. I love picking them. I mostly love picking them with friends. I have a few of those left ;) and I plan on doing many fall things with them.
2) Speaking of fall things... Pumpkin carving party. The last time we did this was the best thing of my life. I would be a professional pumpkin carver.
3) Get a job. I have applied to several places and I am waiting. I would be happiest to get a call from Best Friends so I can play with dogs. Please keep your fingers crossed and think happy thoughts about puppies.
4) Go back to school in the spring. I think this is the scariest thing I will ever do. At least it feels really scary. I've had several people offer their help so I know I'm not alone. But I still feel like I am. I decided to go for a dream I've had since I was little and try to become a nurse or something like it. I am afraid I'm not smart enough. Or I won't have enough money. Or I won't have the support. Or I just won't be able to handle it. But I need to try...cause I'll never know if I don't.....right?
But then again, I talk a lot and never go through with it.
I've been stuck in the same place for over a year.
I love this layout but the font is so fucking small.
Hmm I fixed it cause I am a genius.
